cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
ttyl tear gas
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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