She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
