The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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