Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
