Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she peed on how many people?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
