Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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