no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to have your abortion
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize