what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
