Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm like, not good at living.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
