Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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