At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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