Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't deserve a penis
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
