Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
