I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
