Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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