pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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