why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
