You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
