so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
