So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
