Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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