Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
