is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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