capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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