More tranny stories later!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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