So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you are never too drunk for berry picking
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize