Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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