After last night, I could never be a politician.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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