: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
kristin has been a bad kristin
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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