dude i'm inner monologue high
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
