I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
