just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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