Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
