small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
