Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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