We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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