How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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