Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
