Tell her she can't have a vagina
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
