Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
