Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
