So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
