Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
