I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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