yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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