You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize