I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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