Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
