Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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