she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
