Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
