Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
