your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
