A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
