So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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