i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude i'm inner monologue high
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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