I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
