I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
