turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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