Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the day after is always just damage control
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
