I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
