Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize